Punctual-iciousness

As I have mentioned before, I married late. Much later than I had anticipated and later than two of my younger siblings. It was a lot later than I had dreamed it would happen, but I shouldn't have been surprised. I mean, after all, Late is my middle name (and you thought you knew what it was...) My whole entire life I have been late. I was born nearly two weeks past my due date and this pushed me, not only into a new month, but into the New Year. My parents remember pushing socks onto my feet as they heard the school bus coming down our street, trying desperately to put a sense of time into my sleepy head. I, however, would just stare into the plain air, completely oblivious to the fact I was possibly going to miss my bus for school.

It took me over ten years to get my bachelor's degree. That takes a lot of courage to admit on a public blog. But then again, most of you probably already know that. It doesn't really even bother me. I was in no rush to graduate and enjoyed my time in and out of school, working, acting, etc. When I got married, I took a break from school. I would have happily put schooling aside at any time for a husband and family, but since that took so long, I ended up with a degree. And eventually my husband. And my baby.

I was late for my first date with my husband too. Almost a half hour late. And my husband highly values punctuality. Thankfully for me, he overlooked that *minor detail* and I am finally married with the family I always dreamed of having.

So why the random post about tardiness? And waiting? And being f-o-r-e-v-e-r late? Because I also became a mother late. I thought that after all of that waiting for a husband that I would have a baby right away. I gave birth to my first child at 28. I had wanted to start a family right after high school. That's a whoppin' ten year difference. And a far cry from the life I carefully scripted in my naive teenage head.

You see, God saw further than my sixteen-year-old mind could comprehend. Yes, I could have married somewhat soon after high school. But the guy I was interested in at that time wasn't right for me. And deep inside my heart, I knew it. And thankfully, I trusted that.

My husband is younger than I am. As much as I wanted to, I couldn't have married him when I was 18, because he was a minor and still in high school. At 23 when I was longing for my family, he was serving a mission for the LDS Church in Peru. When we finally met in 2009, I was already 26 and worrying that my biological sand timer was running out. What I didn't know was that it actually was. Two years and a knowledgeable doctor later, I finally had my baby girl.

With our age difference, I had pretty easily figured out why I couldn't find and marry Paul as soon as I had wanted to, but the whole infertility thing is just life. And I know it is not unique to me and I know I am so very lucky it was only two years of tearful patience. But I have learned patience. And trust. And humility. And grat-i-tude. Gratitude for what I have at each moment and not what I long for. Gratitude for God's perfect timing, his punctuality in bringing us what we need when we need it. And for the little things that make it so worth it in the end.

This post is ending up so far from where I started and planned on going, but the point I am making is the same. God understands punctuality and "on time" so much better than any of us could ever pretend to. What I have learned (and am still learning) from all of this is to TRUST GOD. 

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not unto thy own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct thy paths. (Proverbs 3:5-6)

 So, what is my point in all of this? Trust God. Simply trust Him. Pray, do your best, and at the end of the day, know it is ALL GOING TO BE OKAY. Because He is our Father. He loves us, and He is watching over us all. That is my testimony. That I know to be as real as the sun that shines. And may it shine on all of us tomorrow.