You are Awesome

I just spent a few minutes reading an old post from one of my favorite blogs. I got to thinking about really awesome people in this world and how cool it would be if they all could get together in the same place at the same time! I wondered how that would really go (would some of them clash, despite their awesomeness?)

Then I suddenly thought...am I awesome? I think I am just normal and that's fine most of the time, but I felt excluded from my imaginary awesome party and bummed at falling short of such great people. Then I thought, who is awesome? I know that to God I am awesome. He delights in the being He created and the good I strive to create with my life. So who all is awesome? According to my calculations, everyone God has created. Why? Because we are infinitely special and more than enough just because He made us. We are children of a perfect being and therefore all have the potential of perfection. And what is perfection, but awesome to the nth power! That doesn't mean that we aren't awesome until we are perfected. It just means that we have such tremendous potential. We can become the most incredible version of ourselves ever imaginable. And that is pretty cool.

So, to return to my original thought, what if all of the awesome people in the world could get together in the same place at the same time? That's what we are doing right now. It's called earth life. Mortality. Our "test." You name it, but here we are all together in this vast world sharing and learning and growing. Do we clash sometimes? Unfortunately yes. And not everyone is aware of or tapping into their own awesomeness. Though our value is incalculably the same, not everyone chooses to live in accordance with such a divine nature and therefore we face a lot of ugliness-distress-crime-hate and so on. There is also a being who is anti-awesomeness who will do anything to destroy the children of God and make them miserable like he is. How sad that so many are deceived into thinking his way really is better, that they will go farther, achieve more and find more happiness by stumbling down his corrupt paths. It simply isn't true. And it's not necessarily easier either, though it is made to appear that way.

That doesn't make God's plan easy either. Life is hard sometimes, that's a given. But it wasn't meant to be Easy Street. Oh, how nice that would be...or so we think. We don't learn the fastest when things are a breeze. That's chill time and it's nice when it happens. No, when we learn the fastest is when there's a curve ball headed straight at us and we have to think on our feet. When all around us is falling apart and we realize it's up to us to find a better way. And when we do, we grow. We grow so much through adversity that when we really look at it for what it is, we can't live well without it. Live, yes. No one dies of having plenty of food, perfect health, all the comforts of life, perpetual happiness, etc. But no one grows having all of those things either. And truly, we weren't just sent to earth to live. We could experience that in two seconds. Live. Breathe. Die. Check. We came here to learn and to grow. And growing hurts so much sometimes. Growing, stretching, healing, the process can be so painful and then so rewarding in the end. There is no way I would give back a single thing I have learned through my trials and challenges. That is hard-earned knowledge, credits added to my degree in Life. And I have a lot more to learn.

The thing about life is that it's not a set curriculum. There is no credit limit or minimum. What might be a four-year degree for some is a seventy-five year degree for others. And none of us know from the beginning how long ours will take. We are in it for the journey as much as the end result. So, what to take from my endless rambling today? Live life and appreciate it! Grab it by the horns and conquer each obstacle. Running from adversity will get you nowhere. Run into the face of it and show it what you are made of. Because I happen to know...

you are awesome.

Update, Hello AGAIN....

Oh, little blog, how I have missed you. Things have gotten C-R-A-Z-Y around here in the last, oh, six months or so and I can't believe I haven't found time for even a quick little post. I miss blogging. I miss writing really. It's good for me and I benefit in so many ways. So, without more adieu, an update:

1. The last post followed a miscarriage of my third pregnancy (I have one child) and was extremely upsetting for me. I accepted it and got pregnant two weeks (yes, that's right - two weeks) later but it was still a huge setback physically, emotionally, mentally. I was so excited for that baby and had invested two careful months into the pregnancy, hoping I could prevent another loss like the one before Hannah and the miscarriage came as a complete shock. No warnings. Just a sinister surprise that caught me one night as I was heading to bed. I learned a lot from it and am okay now. I am so happy to be preparing for another baby. I am content to be pregnant again. I am grateful to be adding a son (yes, a son!) to our family and to learn how to juggle two kids instead of just one. It will be exciting.

2. Around the time my blogging diminished, we were living with my family while building a home near them. Through a fateful change of plans, we detoured and purchased an already built home close by but in a different city. It was extremely disappointing at first and I'll admit that I cried a lot more over a house than I should have, but ultimately it was the best thing for our family. We are in a wonderful children-filled neighborhood and Hannah is in heaven. She loves it here. We have a similar house plan to what we intended to build and a much better layout on our lot (further back from the road, better yard, etc.) and even a few bonuses. I love the side-entry garage and the beautiful "street trees" that will be coming around October. I love that about this neighborhood - every street is lined with lovely trees that blossom

in the spring, fill the view with gorgeous green and cool shade in the summer and this fall will shed vibrant, beautiful autumn leaves. I always hoped for a neighborhood filled with trees. I am so lucky.

3.  Paul has a new job and has been working insane hours since we moved in. This has left me alone with Hannah a lot and often feeling like I'm doing this all myself. With a new house to settle into and a lot of exhaustion from the pregnancy, everything seems to be going very slowly but we are getting there little at a time. Paul is super helpful when he is home, hanging things, fixing things, organizing the garage, and so forth, but we also have to fit in family time, doctor visits, date nights (a rarity I am sad to admit) and every other crazy thing that comes up that it often takes up the time we set aside to work on moving. So, very little is hung on our walls, but we do have curtains and blinds thanks to my hubby and we are, like I said, getting there. Give us a few more months, hopefully before the baby comes...

Meanwhile, Hannah is my little helper and together, we'll get it all done.

Content

Sometimes things happen in life that make us really wonder...why. And we are given the opportunity to contemplate what that answer might be because it isn't written on the wall or in the stars or anywhere in plain sight. Sometimes in that moment of pondering, the answer that comes is this: there is no why. At least not right now.  And while that is hard to accept, sometimes having an answer is even harder because we take responsibility rather harshly. And whether or not we can answer that why question, the important thing is that we trust that God can and will when the time is right. Meanwhile, answer-less, confused, and even distraught one of the best remedies (besides good music, laughter, movement...) is the classic practice of counting our blessings and finding contentment. Because it is there if you look for it. It is all around when we just open our eyes.

When we make the choice to be content, we see what we have, not what we lack. We feel alive and in the moment, not trapped by another dead end. In short, when we choose contentment, we feel happy.

I want to feel happy, so I'm making that choice.

How about you?